Today while reading postsecret and then scanning the forums, I decided something. Instead of sending in my secrets for people who don't know me to care, I'm going to post them here. So that whoever you are, you can read it. You probably know me. I don't blame you for stopping now, who really wants to know that much about another person? -I am going to do every drug humanly possible in order to inspire myself and write something truly good. I've already done prescription drugs and came up with a surrealist piece, and most of my poems are written just before I pass out on my bed and half-cry myself to sleep. Alcohol tends to bring out the worst in me, and that usually makes for the best poetry. -The real reason I want to be published is not so people will admire me and my work, but so I might finally be able to feel loved. I don't know how I made the connection, but it's the only thing that pushes me forward. -I haven't slept well since I stopped drinking and taking pills. I know it's my own damn fault, but I can't help considering grabbing a bottle when it's 7.30 in the morning and my head is filled with thoughts I can't escape without the help of sleep. -I haven't been happy since you stopped giving me those little words of encouragement every week. I really needed that to hold on. Sorry. -I can spend hours doing my hair and makeup and picking out my clothes, but one look at any of you and I can see how pathetic the attempt was. Jeans and a t-shirt, without makeup, hair in a ponytail..you're everything I wish I could be. There's more, but I can't bring myself to spell them out. This is just the tip of the ice burg, the things I can type without fighting myself mentally. Hope you enjoyed. White texted, so, you know, you don't HAVE to read.
I need to go write some more.
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