New blog?

I've been useless lately.

I haven't written one good thing. Not one poem, not one short story, nothing.

Not that I was ever good at short stories as it is. I'm so rusty, I am misspelling storie and storys. Plural and singular forms are mixing together. My mind is in slo-mo and there's nobody to hit the fast-forward button.

I miss the days where I would wake up at 4.15 in the morning, scrawl something illegible in my little, leather pink book (that is always on my nightstand, with a nice pen, just in case.) and when I wake up, marvel at the thoughts that entered in my head through the night. Like my little muse curled up next to me ear, whispering sweet nothings all night.

Baby, where did we go wrong?

I am inspirationless, bored, and slowly getting dumber, lazier, and more depressed. My life is on a downwards swing, and I am only 18 years old. I haven't even started college yet, and it feels like everything is over.

I read over my livejournal, and some of my blog posts there were good, but for the most part it was just the typical angst expected of preteens (the kind of angst that lasted from age 10 to age it-isn't-over-yet-for-me.). My myspace blog was a little better, before I hit my 'LOL I WANNA EB A SCENE KID OMGGG~! && <3'>

And now I come back from digging up tags for the two pairs of (really cute) shorts that I have to return to Marshalls (I put them on, they were badly sewn and basically every stitch ripped. They weren't even small on me. It was a very painful blow to my nonexistant ego, I'll have you know.) along with this blue tank top that despite the elastic is way to small in the chest and pulls this move that flattens and pushes them into weird shapes. Kind of like taking a huge ball of playdoe (playdough?) and putting it into one of the half-size containers. It just doesn't work, and it's actually quite painful.

Except the playdough (playdoe?) is actually my rather nice although un-proportional breasts that are NATURAL thankyouverymuch.

Why can stores never make clothes that would look good on a 5 foot tall, mamoth chested 18 year old girl? Petite clothes often look..grannyish. Because old ladies are often very small, and very thin. But I am not 'thin' and I also do not have granny/petite boobs. It is a cruel and unfair world to those of us with oddly-proportioned bodies.

This is turning into out of control rambling. I think I'll let it go for now.

Peace, darlings. <3

(Jones soda is the shit. I don't know what I would do without all the excess calories it allows me to obtain.)